My Very Chicago Evening

Our first night in Chicago, Brandon and I were at the hotel bar, enjoying some beer and a spread of bar food when one of the SNL Da Bears guys suddenly made himself heard. Oh, I tease. It wasn't one of those guys, but the prototype. "That Oprah," he kept saying. "She's an institution."

As it turns out, out hotel was right next to the theater running Oprah Winfrey Presents The Color Purple. At that moment, the theater was letting out, and the sidewalks were suddenly filled with well-dressed black women. I thought of the episodes of Oprah when she pops up at viewers' homes and places of work to surprise them. I dipped a Buffalo drummie into the blue cheese. I don't like to get my hopes up, but I decided that would like to play it gracious, should Oprah suddenly appear on the bar stool next to me. I decided that I wanted to be the one viewer who didn't freak out.

I didn't have much time to ponder this, though. The crowd of theater-goers cleared out, and suddenly, from the window, I could see a large white bus. In large block letters: JESUS SAVES TOUR BUS. It struck me a mite apocalyptic.

And, lo, at the end of the world, The Lord will gather his followers in a tour bus and take them to see a theatrical production.