This Will Be Quick. And Freaky.

There are things a plenty going on, but I’m guessing that no one wants to hear about the fascinating way one makes PDFs of a magazine to upload the the old FTP.

Am I right, or am I right?

I went to the eye doctor this morning and quickly realized that, during my visit, I’d gotten Paranoid Vision, which is (obviously) one of the lesser types of super vision. Driving home, with my eyes fully dilated and a deeply tinted piece of plastic between my eyes and my glasses, I got the intense feeling that I was about to be T-boned at any minute. I’d tenatively brake, then flail my head around like one of those dogs that, for no good reason, jumps up and starts attacking its own tail. It was like having ghosts in my peripheral vision. WHO’S THERE! NO T-BONING, YOU! WHERE IS OTA MAY BROWN WHEN YOU NEED HER?

I was almost home before I realized that cars passing in the fast lane were making some sort of reflection in the aforementioned plastic, making me believe that instead of passing me, they were on the verge of careening into me. Not so much Paranoid Vision as an optical illusion. Next year, you best believe I’ll have an escort.