It is time now to turn to the univeral language. Love.
Here's a fun bit of research from PPIEW: In happy romantic relationships, Partner A will see all sorts of wonderful traits in Partner B that neither Partner B's friends nor Partner B himself see. In unhappy romantic relationships, Partner A sees all sorts of faults that are likewise invisible to Partner B and Partner B's friends.
In my case, "Partner B" stands for "Partner Brandon." And he really is either as fun, smart, hot, kind, and generally awesome as I think he is, or I'm in love with him. So, it's a win-win, as they say in the old country. ("Partner A," you'll note in this case, stands for "Partner Alienating Her Readers With the Mushy Talk.")
Today is our ten-year anniversary, and as much as I love him, I've been unable to find Brandon a suitable present to mark the day we made our sweet love legal. Ten years is traditionally the tin, or aluminum, anniversary. You'd think that might be helpful, but alas it's not.
I called my mom yesterday afternoon and told her about the aluminum or tin. "The only thing I can think of is wearing some aluminum foil pasties," I said.
"Or you can have Krissy up," she said. Tin is Krissy's nickname, as in Kristin.
"Yes," I said. "Here, Brandon. I got you my sister for our anniversary."
"No, I just meant that you could take her out with you."
"Here, Brandon. I got you the younger, slimmer version of me."
"Maybe Krissy could wear the pasties," Mom said, laughing. "That would be fun!"
We laughed. Tin and aluminum. Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha. Aah. I got quiet.
"Are you going put this in your blog?"
Confidential to the Befuddler: There will be a cold aluminum can of beer waiting for you. And ... other things. Happy decade, babe--here's to decades more of people helping people. I love you!