Wednesday, July 9, 2008

More Free Advice

So the flu/virus turned into bronchitis, and now I sound like Brenda Vaccaro gargling with gravel, but I believe I’m on the mend.

Sadly, I have nothing to blog about since I’ve been watching TV for the past nine days. Unless you need me to fact-check something from Dirty Dancing. I watched that twice. Also, the Christopher Guests movies. Why, I wonder who knows I’m staying at the Oasis? That cracks me up every time.

It’s probably time for another round of free advice, based on the search engine keywords that get people to this blog. Okay. Here we go:

--“Boyfriends ugly furniture.” True story: Once Brandon and I were helping some friends move, and it was determined that some ugly furniture was too heavy to get out of the apartment. That was a good move.

--“There’s no fear in this dojo.” In case you’re wondering, it’s okay to refuse when asked to “sweep the leg.”

--“Song lyrics ‘all the light in the house were on.’ “ Is this the song you’re looking for?
All the lights in the house were on.
Someone let the faucet drip.
Beer bottles were in the trash,
And we ignored all enviro-tips.
Hello. We’re enemies of Mother Earth.

I’m kidding. That’s not really a song.

--“And another thing jenny.” Why would you search for this? Are you hoping the other thing will show up on my blog? Well, as a “Jenny,” here are some suggestions for you:
And another thing, Jenny—I’m going to get you a fresh beer from the refrigerator!
And another thing, Jenny—you’d better not try to clean the house!
And another thing, Jenny—you look breath-taking with unwashed hair!

--“brandon dust.” Sprinkle a little of this for fantastic results!


jamie said...

I am a major Google Analytics junkie. I'm always psyched when my site gets visitors from, say, Kyrgyzstan. Or Transylvania.

My FAVORITE EVER search term that someone used to find me, my site, and my blog was, "Jamie Pearson husband".

I remind my husband of this on a regular basis in case he forgets, you know, how lucky he is.

Elizabeth said...

Oh my gosh, those are some funny search phrases/matching advice. I never get anything fun through search engines, though my little sis has had some super ones.

Katherine said...

Ha, I was just going to pipe up and say I've had some crazy searches, but my big sis beat me to it. Some of the best (or worst, depending on your perspective)... "INDIAN BIRD POOPS" and "Vacuuming Babes".

Jennifer said...

Hey, I didn't know you two were sisters!

I get a lot of search engine hits from my husband's name. Also whether Bret Michael has a weave.